Chapter 4
The night wasn’t supposed to mean anything.
That’s what Jiwon told himself as he followed the others into the small restaurant near the company – plastic chairs, low tables, the smell of grilled meat clinging to the air.
It was just a celebration. A minor evaluation passed. Nothing special.
Still, his heart wouldn’t calm down.
Minjun sat across from him, sleeves rolled up, hair slightly damp from the rain. He looked more relaxed than usual, shoulders loose, lips curved in the faintest smile whenever Areum teased him.
Jiwon couldn’t stop watching him. The way he tilted his head when listening. The quiet laugh that escaped him when someone said something particularly stupid.
Jiwon drank more than he should have, lingering over each sip.
Minjun, on the other hand, didn’t pace himself at all.
By the time the table was cleared, Minjun’s ears were pink, his movements slower. He leaned back in his chair, blinking like the world had softened around the edges.
“You okay?” Jiwon asked, barely audible over the noise.
Minjun turned to him, gaze unfocused but warm. “Mm. I think I drank too much.”
Areum laughed loudly. “He never drinks! This is historic.”
When they finally left, Rina called for taxis, herding the trainees with tired efficiency. Minjun swayed slightly as he stood, catching himself on the edge of the table.
Jiwon moved before thinking. His hand wrapped around Minjun’s wrist – gentle, unsure.
“I’ll walk him,” Jiwon said quickly. “His dorm is close.”
Rina studied him for a second, then nodded. “Be careful.”
The night air was cool, damp with rain. Minjun’s steps were uneven, his shoulder brushing Jiwon’s more than once. Each accidental touch sent a small shock through Jiwon’s body.
“Sorry,” Minjun murmured for the third time.
“It’s fine,” Jiwon said, heart racing. “Just… lean on me.”
Minjun did.
The weight wasn’t heavy, but it felt enormous. Jiwon’s arm slid around Minjun’s back, careful not to hold too tightly. Minjun smelled faintly of alcohol and soap, warm and human in a way that made Jiwon dizzy.
They walked in silence for a while.
Then Minjun spoke.
“Do you ever feel lonely?” he asked suddenly.
Jiwon’s steps faltered. “Lonely?”
“Mm.” Minjun laughed softly, breath brushing Jiwon’s neck. “Even when people are around.”
Jiwon swallowed. “All the time.”
Minjun hummed, as if satisfied with the answer. “I think… I don’t really care anymore.”
“About what?”
“About rules,” Minjun said. His voice was slower now, heavier. “About what I’m supposed to feel.”
Jiwon’s heart thudded painfully.
Minjun stopped walking. He straightened slightly, turning to face Jiwon. His eyes were glassy, honest in a way sobriety never allowed.
“I just want to fall in love…” Minjun said. “I don’t even care if it’s a man or a woman.”
The world went quiet.
Jiwon’s mouth went dry. His chest felt too tight, too small for his heart.
Minjun stared at him, waiting for something – agreement, maybe. Or understanding.
Jiwon couldn’t speak.
He felt exposed, like Minjun had peeled something open inside him without even trying. He wanted to look away, to laugh it off, to pretend those words didn’t settle deep under his skin.
But they did.
They burned.
Minjun blinked, then frowned slightly. “Ah… that was weird, wasn’t it?”
Jiwon shook his head too fast. “N-no. It’s just…”
Just what?
He didn’t know.
Minjun smiled weakly. “Sorry. I talk too much when I drink.”
“It’s okay,” Jiwon whispered, even though nothing felt okay.
They reached the dorm building soon after. Minjun leaned heavily against the wall, eyes fluttering shut.
Jiwon hesitated, then gently brushed Minjun’s hair back from his forehead. The touch was brief, barely there – but it felt dangerous.
Minjun murmured his name.
Jiwon froze.
“Good night,” Minjun said softly, already drifting.
Jiwon stepped back, heart pounding, watching the door close behind him.
The walk home felt longer.
His thoughts spiraled, tangled in one simple truth he didn’t want to admit:
Those words weren’t just drunken nonsense.
And the feelings blooming inside him – quiet, terrifying, uncontrollable – were already far beyond his control.
